Getting to one knee in a crowded room is always a dicey proposition, especially if you’re uncertain of the answer you’re going to get. At least in the privacy of your own home, with just the two of you enjoying a romantic candlelit dinner, you can quietly slink away to nurse your wounds should you be rejected. On the other hand, there’s something wonderful about forging an instant emotional bond not only between yourself and the woman you love, but the family and friends who witnessed the first moment that you pledged your life to each other. Still, it’s a tough choice. If you just can’t decide whether it’s best to keep your private affairs confined to the two of you or if it’s better to make it a family matter, here are a couple of pros and cons to help you resolve the issue.
If you opt to offer a ring to your lady love solo, you’ll certainly remove a lot of the pressure on both of you. Naturally, it’s still a big decision, and awaiting her answer will have you on pins and needles. But you can reasonably expect to get an honest answer. If you pop the question in front of her family and yours, for example, she might feel pressured into saying yes, only to turn you down later in private (or on the way to the altar). You don’t want that. Whether she says yes or no, you can be fairly sure she means it if it’s just between the two of you.
In addition, there’s less pressure on you to perform (or conform) when the only eyes on you during the proposal are hers. If you get flustered, have some kind of emotional breakdown, or simply want to take your time, you don’t have to worry about your bros egging you on or alternately, ribbing you. In addition, if she says yes, you’ll likely want to spend some time with each other immediately afterwards, rather than getting swirled in different directions by a sea of well-wishers. And if she says no, well, you probably won’t want to look anyone in the eye for a while, least of all your family and friends.
While there’s something to be said for involving a group in what could be one of the happiest moments of your life, it seems pretty clear that it’s probably a mistake. You’re going to be strung pretty tight as it is, and you don’t need the added pressure of a bunch of witnesses to make this crucial event even more difficult.